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So this happened a while back and it's not something I will soon forget ether. I was a young dish/cashier boy at a Panera Bread, and on fateful evening two very beautiful young women had entered around 8:00pm and ordered there food. Now an hour had passed since they entered and order their food and I looked over to see them looking disgusted and horrified. I was confused to why they had this look on their face. Then I finally took notice that they had been staring at something outside the windows. As i stared at the same spot that they had been focusing on I noticed a man with his dick out jerking off vigorously while looking straight into the eyes of these two girls while on a cell phone. Now note this it was fucking December 2008 in Columbus and it was the coldest day of the year. How in god's name did he get that fucker up? I mean he had to be making a crazy amount of friction to protect against frost bite, but by some fucking act of Satan himself this man held a boner in 5 degree weather at night. Might I also add who in the hell was he talking to? A bunch of Frat buddies!? "Hey guys you're not going to believe this but I'm doing it...... Yeah! , and there is like two of them......o and a dish/cashier boy". I and my manger ran out to stop this man. Not really sure what we could do if we even got him but he ran off and we didn't fell like giving chase. I will never forget that night or that dick......sadly. If i ever see that man i will beat the living shit out of him. TRUE STORY!!!
So when I went to the mall to pre-order the manliest game ever "GOD OF WAR III", I decided to chill near Victoria Secret, because I have enough balls to look directly into that store instead of the magazine.....who am I kidding I'm just a pervert either way, but I started noticed that next door to Victoria's Secret there is a place called PINK. Now PINK will take a 16 year old girl and make them look almost old enough for me to consider dating; however that's not the point that I'm trying to make here. I slowly noticed that Mom's started to shop at this place. Most of which did not score high enough to be considered MILFS. So I continued to watch this and made it into a theory. PINK is making women into sexual land minds for men, now stay with me here. As I continued to watch as more mothers went in and out I couldn't help but notice that they looked good from behind but ugly in the facile area, sexy from behind but once up close BOOM land mine. Watch out for those PINK land minds men or make sure you have a paper bag on you.